Hi beautiful ones. I’m eternally sorry for my long term silence, I’ve had a ton on my plate. But I’m here now and I ain’t going nowhere no more😘. So this thing has bothered me long enough and I’m finally gonna do something really tangible about it. It’s the rate at which tons of ladies lack decisiveness and self-respect which I’ve seen countless times on social media. Even in cases of easy discernment, they prefer to live in denial.
You somehow know that something is not right for you, a certain treatment is not right for you; yet you don’t confront it. You do nothing to stop it. Next thing you’re asking for advice even when a soothsayer is not needed to open your eyes to a lacklustre future should that situation continue.
Just some days back, I came across this post on Instagram.
“You really did something very bad that provoked your husband. Would you rather he beats you and forget the matter or send you back to your father’s house?”
It beats me terribly how women limit their choices drastically to two or more unpalatable options. The choices they tend to see are always on the downsides.
Unfortunately, I get to see several terrible advices being dished out, many times by fellow women. Such advices that encourage the woman to keep letting herself down. I’m grateful for the few good advices though. However, these ladies post as anonymous so many times, it’s impossible to reach out to them. There’s no way to know what advice they took and how it’s working out for them.
For the case at hand, a woman commented that she’d rather her husband send her to her father’s house from where she can beg him to take her back. This is all shades of belittling. If a man cannot handle upset in his house and must need to send his wife out, what kind of man does that make him? Do you have any idea how many times your spouse will upset you so much in the course of your lifetime with them? If he must need space, what happened to renting a hotel room and taking a few days off? Why prefer to belittle your wife so much as sending her to her father’s house just to exert your lordship?
I’ve taken a lot of time to think really hard, trying to unravel the genesis of these problems with women and I’ve realized that “only a woman can save herself”.
Centuries of patriarchy will not just disappear automatically. The society cannot come together to grant you your freedom. The cabinet of chiefs will not meet with the king to deliberate and grant women freedom. Nope. Only you lady, can take your freedom by yourself.
It starts from restructuring your mindset about what life and relationship for a woman should be like. Start unlearning all you’ve been made to learn about the proper way to be a woman and wife material.
Do away with all helplessness and senselessness and welcome yourself into a new era of living for you first – your sanity and self-respect – before anything or anyone else.
Therefore, I’m launching a guide to shred you of your self-demeaning thoughts and launch you into the most powerful version of yourself.
Power to rid yourself of fear and negativity.
Power to not settle for less.
Power to transform into a 21st century Bitch.
___Oopsie. Did I just say that? The word B-I-T-C-H, I mean. Yes I did. You see, I’ve been in love with that word since the moment I realized people use it on you to reduce you or diminish you, especially when they’re unable to get you to do their bidding. They aim to hurt your confidence, to humble you enough to give in to their theatrics.
So yes, I’m elated to own the word. After all, graceful Sherry Argov has rid that word of all untoward and derogatory attributes in her book: Why Men Love Bitches.
Well now, I need you to own your bitch- first, love yourself before a man will love you. This is still under construction but I’m so glad to hint it at you. Expect it soon. Bitch Up!
Happy Easter Celebration.