Hello darlings, Valentine’s Day is only 3 days away. I know this is a period of mixed emotions for many as they probably reflect on their relationship. Someone somewhere is watching her partner, waiting to see what he would do for Valentine’s. Another if already perceiving untoward attitude from his partner causing him to suspect she has other plans. Each is unwilling to openly engage communication in their relationship.
Well lovers, ye that has a bae or boo, why art thou so scared to communicate with each other? Research has revealed that 70% of relationships/marriages would be saved by effective communication.
According to relationship expert Dr. Amy Bellows, “Communication is the mortar that holds a relationship together, if it breaks down, the relationship will crumble. When spouses no longer communicate, a marriage nurtures no one. It is no longer a marriage.”
Why then is it that the most critical and I dare say, simplest, element required to keep us in the with our significant other, is often that which we shy away from?
We’d rather watch in silence, counting wrongs, monitoring attitudes and bottling up all we should voice out and discuss as a couple.
Many times after a relationship has gone south, you cannot even pinpoint any tangible element that held you back from discussing issues with your ex. And this often leads to regrets especially when you realize you still love them.
One of the most prominent drawbacks to proper communication between lovers is pride. The notion that you’re the one who’s been wronged and therefore should sit on your high horse, overseeing events and waiting for proper apologies.
You might have been the one at fault but your pride won’t let you see that. Sometimes your partner might not have been sensitive enough to realize they wronged you. But if you place your love for them over your pride, you would discuss the issue and grow better in love and trust.
Another drawback is distrust. When your relationship lacks trust, you are not willing to believe whatever your partner has to say.
Hence rather than ask “how was your lunch? I understand you were out with Judith from the office”, you act all cold and grumble for the one week and suspect his every move and leave him flabbergasted when he eventually realizes his punishment was all because of one professional lunch!
And finally there is fear. You fear they might not understand your concerns and might blow it out of proportion. Therefore you keep your mouth shut, your heart heavy and your head haunted by uncomfortable imaginations.
This very day, which of these is causing you to doubt that your partner will come through for you on Valentine’s Day? And which is holding you back from coming through for them? Why not kill fear, pride and distrust; and talk to your partner like you would speak to yourself in the mirror. See how much more restful and happy you will feel while relaxing as a couple on Valentine’s day.
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