Hi lovelies, everyone knows Lagos innit? Yea. I just feel like sharing my Lagos experience. I’m super glad it’s not a terrible experience unlike a lot I’ve come across.
You see, I’m not a Legosian, never been. But then I’ve been to Lagos several times. That’s a sure thing when you have rich aunties in the city; holiday visits become a right, not privilege.
It’s typical Nigerian shit for real. You’re either the rich family that hosts the less rich cousins, or you’re the less rich cousin that is always excited to be shipped to the family with the milk and honey flowing all around. The awesome attraction of the Lagos amusement parks, cool beaches, bridges flying high and low, lagoons lying beautifully below, the tallest buildings I had ever seen live, amazing street lights, what else could an adventurous child love more? We never had pizza nor cinemas where I came from, or those fruits that didn’t grow in Nigeria (thank God for modern day Shoprite and Genesis).
So yea, it was exciting looking forward to holidaying at my amiable aunt’s and cousins in Lagos.
But when you become an adult, you grow way pass holidays. so ain’t no one giving you a ride in the city. You gotta find your way girl.
Recently I had an interview in the big city and I was ready to dig in on my own. Oh, I’ve been on my own once before, with classmates back in school, but I only moved from Silverbird to Lekki-Ajah. It’s funny using the word “just” cos I spent, what was it…6:55 to 10:02pm…3 hours on the road. They call it Lagos traffic.
Meanwhile, all those celebrities that live in Lekki, I didn’t see any😡
So this time, I came for that interview. I was to get to Amuwo Odofin (still can’t pronounce it the right way) Industrial Estate from Lekki-Ajah before 10am. Well, it wasn’t impossible I learnt, I just have to leave before 6am. Hear that? They said it like it was some normal stuff!
Leave the house before 6am, when I’m not traveling to another state.
So that was how I woke up by 4:30am, did my toilet rituals (and I didn’t even go in the toilet with my phone just to avoid wasting time…how boring!), had a quick bath and wore a glam make-up, only to sit in a bus for a 2 hour ride to Oshodi, feeling sleepy all damn through! Oh Lord, Lagos people must sleep in the bus a lot. Yet I couldn’t get much of a sleep because of course, my bag must be guarded from wandering hands😂😂. After paying #500 just to move from a place to another, when I’m still in one state o.
Just as we were nearing Oshodi bus stop, after passing Gbagada, Road Safety chose to stop our bus for reasons best known to them alone. Before I could say Jack, every passenger alighted angrily and started leaving. Chei, see me see confusion. Who I wan follow? JJC no be better title. Anyway, I gathered that Oshodi bus stop was trekkable. Instantly I loved my aunt even more for asking me to put my take off my babygirl pink wedge shoes in exchange for a flat slippers.
“When you reach your destination, you wear your shoes”, she had said.
Brethren, I just dey waka with my hand clutching my bag so tightly. Where will I enter bus to Mile 2? Shebi if not for Road Safety my bus for reach the bus stop and e for easy to find my way. Enemies of progress😏. So I researched faces.
It’s an open secret that you’ve to be wary of asking people for directions in Lagos. Plenty man hate your progress pass Road Safety.
So I scanned persons and researched faces. A woman selling tomatoes was a good agent. A young guy sitting with that Loto machine on a desk in front of him was also helpful. I made my way over the flyover with a lot of dirt littered under it and found the right bus.
Perfect. I was on my way in no time, spending another #200😏 and I’ve not even reached my destination. Didn’t expect to spend all this mehn, you know how I like my money, but I was grateful to have my ATM card with me. After all, at all at all na winch market. So I got to my bus stop and took a bike.
I didn’t even form ajebota. I was louding it for the conductor “remember my bus stop ooh, no carry me pass oo, me I no sabi am oh”😂😂. No time.
Guess what? I eventually slept while waiting to be called in for the interview session. Damn, three hours on the road, why do Lagosians make everyone feel like we missing something when they all suffering and smiling. Lol some shit huh.
Well, I did my interview and followed same route home, but more prepared for the journey ahead and comforted by the thought of decent sleep ahead. Less traffic though cos it was barely 3pm.
Congratulations Lagosians for surviving with little or no sleep, smiling and feeling yourselves through it all, and most of all, for all the ear-straining you undergo to decipher what the conductor is yarning. Me I didn’t even bother, couldn’t get a thing.
Meanwhile, what is “Wole”? That’s all I can remember after waking up from the much sought-after sleep.
Cheers. Enjoyed my chronicles? Let’s get your Lagos experience in the comment section. Don’t forget to share.