Hello dear TEBians. I’m back with how we can help prep our girl children and babies against rape and break the culture of silence taunting us for centuries. I’ve been away for a while, working on introducing something new. I’ve been working on starting Podcasting. I’ve been researching on it as I intend doing some podcast episodes on certain issues. How would you like that? If you have any suggestions for me, please drop in the comment section. I will appreciate.
However, a lot has happened in our space recently, centered on RAPE that have left me deeply perplexed and utterly disturbed. You all know how much I detest rape, loathe rapists and pedophiles and advocate for their prosecution. We were hit with the Busola Dakolo public confession – wife of Singer Timi Dakolo and mother of two; and our internet went agog with the #IstandwithBusola movement against the COZA Pastor Fatoyinbo who has been serially accused of sexual violence.
More than Busola’s accusations were the further outpouring of many other women (and even few men) on their own rape and rape-related experiences. Nearly every woman has been raped or survived a near-rape incident in her lifetime. It’s as crazy as it’s alarming.
It’s not enough to make the confessions on social media years after damage has been done, millions of ordinary Nigerians are not on Twitter. Children of the lower class still live in chaotic slums were they hardly have the attention of their parents longer than 5mins. Their peasant mothers are still too busy hawking, frying akara or selling Mama put, to pay them any attention. Their fathers are still out there engaging in menial jobs to bring home food; and when they have little to spare, they are out doing shots to chill the bones. Who does the child speak to and when? There are scenes I could never concoct in my wildest imaginations, yet they are a lot people’s realities.
These are things that get to me the most. In what ways do we get adults more engaged in their kids and wards’ lives? We need to prep them against rape and break this wallowing culture of silence. Please this is intended to be more of a campaign than advice.
The moment you have a child, you become responsible for them. Whatever your financial challenges, your children are better off hungry and loved than hungry, ignored and molested.
The following form part of this campaign which I tag #prepyourgirlagainstrape, for parents to target their children from as early as 2years old and prep their girl against rape:
- Be the one to bath your daughter everyday. If you are in a SANE union, then their father can do it too.
- It’s not ill-advised that you trust your sisters to bath your daughter; however, if they harm her, you would find out if you follow this campaign.
- It’s not ill-advised that you trust your sisters to bath your daughter; however, if they harm her, you would find out if you follow this campaign.
- While bathing and dressing her up, form rhymes that name the public and private parts of her body no one else is allowed to touch. Have her sing it and point at them to you.
- Use their real names, no cover-ups (e.g., let her say “my vagina” not “my thing”). Do the same for boys and teach him never to touch girls’ privates without permission.
- Use their real names, no cover-ups (e.g., let her say “my vagina” not “my thing”). Do the same for boys and teach him never to touch girls’ privates without permission.
- Ask her during night baths, if anyone touched her or tried anything funny during the day.
- If she feels any pain when you wash her privates, don’t ignore that red flag.
- If she feels any pain when you wash her privates, don’t ignore that red flag.
- Always notice your daughter’s mood changes around a certain person or people.
- If she dodges a person don’t chastise her in public and force her to go hug the person. Rather, indulge her in private and discover why.
- If she dodges a person don’t chastise her in public and force her to go hug the person. Rather, indulge her in private and discover why.
- Don’t send your daughter alone to deliver food or anything to your customer’s house. Don’t say things like “follow brother to his house and collect change”. Some of you will even shout on her as she’s returning for wasting time, without knowing she wasting time ‘being molested by your customer’ and her tears are not because you’re scolding her but because you can’t notice.
- If you can’t employ help, keep your kids to man your shop while you go do the home calls yourself.
- If you can’t employ help, keep your kids to man your shop while you go do the home calls yourself.
- Don’t frustrate your children by transferring aggression from your life choices to them; they didn’t ask to be born. Had you aborted them, they wouldn’t have cared.
- Show them you can fight for them. Make them open to tell you anything.
- Show them you can fight for them. Make them open to tell you anything.
- Chastise men that casually touch/caress your daughter (may call her “my wife” or “my friend”) letting them know immediately to keep their hands to themselves.
- That way, your daughter knows to say the same thing to them in your absence.
- That way, your daughter knows to say the same thing to them in your absence.
- If you let your daughter spend time in private with a neighbor, babysitter or nanny, engage her later to tell you what happened during that time.
- Do the same if a teacher kept her while you ran late to pick her up, then don’t make it a habit to leave her out late after school.
- Do the same if a teacher kept her while you ran late to pick her up, then don’t make it a habit to leave her out late after school.
- When your daughter sees her first period, don’t just tell her “if a man touch you, you will get pregnant”.
- Explain to her how pregnancy comes about, why she doesn’t need it now and all she has to gain if she focused on priorities first till adulthood.
- Explain to her how pregnancy comes about, why she doesn’t need it now and all she has to gain if she focused on priorities first till adulthood.
- _____Add your own voice to the campaign in the comment section so I also learn.
Together we can create a more vigilant parenting society and prep the girl against rape. If you like this, please share everywhere and take the message to our parents who are not on social media too let everyone be vigilant. Rapists and pedophiles live amongst us. If you do pro bono or paid cases for victims, comment how you can be contacted. You never know whose life you are destined to save today.
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