Hey darlings. So we appear to be hearing a whole lot about women killing their husbands for one reason or another. These mostly revolve around cases of infidelity, physical or mental abuse in marriage. The latest which is still shaking the internet is the case of Maryam Sanda whom has just been sentenced to death by hanging for murdering her husband. So ladies, today you gotta learn how to not kill your husbands!
1. First and foremost, do not marry him if there’s a chance you could kill him for his excesses.
Sounds funny? Naa. Unless you were bundled and handed over to a man you never had prior knowledge of in marriage, you should be aware of his excesses and frivolities. Can you live with them?
If he’s shown signs of narcissism, will you ignore it and believe he would change or would you kill the relationship to avoid killing your husband in the future? What if you realize he’s promiscuous and he swears it’s his only weakness, would you still marry him despite the rage you feel when he goes on his sprees? And if his religion is Islam and he’s willing to exercise his “polygamy rights”, can you live with that? Or would you two agree and opt out of the Islamic marriage for a monogamous court marriage?
In reality, if you are self-aware, you would know your temperaments and how you’re most likely to react to certain issues. Would you let love blind you into believing you can “look away” and pretend you “didn’t see”? Or will you come to terms with your truth and suffer heartbreak now by ending your relationship for future peace of mind?
2. Don’t live with him further if you have started nursing the urge to kill him.
Say you married him already. Maybe you genuinely felt he was the perfect lover and husband but down some years, story changes. But you hold on. You pray your soul out. God can save your marriage. He will get back to being who he was, the man you married. But today, he’s still the agonizing sadist, emotional blackmailer, gas-lighter, physical abuser, rapist, etc. He has made you lose out on life, contracts/jobs, maybe even your womb or child. You are frustrated, you replay your stabbing him a thousand times in your head. He deserves to die – I know – but not by your hand sweetie. Your hand is too precious to lead you to jail or death. Pack a bag, pick your kids, leave. And heal.
In reality, it takes more than the momentary feeling of victory to survive as a murderer. Can you really bear the guilt? Are you assured that you can move past the gory act? Can you stand the recurring nightmares? And live the lie forever? You might actually suffer even more psychologically damage than you already have. I suggest you leave and heal.
3. Cut off friends and family that don’t align with your final decision and make true allies.
You have decided to leave but the friends you have tell you you’re out of your mind. Your father does not want you in his house or your mother says you’re a disgrace to your ancestors. Shut your ears to your nay-sayers. Because the day you lose your mind and kill your husband, they will join cohorts to tag you a witch. Strategize; if you have been a housewife without savings, steal your husband’s money. Yes, steal loads of it at the most convenient time and change location.
What if you don’t have the willpower? I understand that many victims lack the power to think positively which hinders their leaving their abusers. If yyou’re reading this, stay still and imagine yourself dead. Peek into your funeral day, spot your kids and their tears and how abandoned they look. Imagine your husband finally enjoying freedom to defile your matrimonial bed. Make a resolve to leave – not to kill your husband. Then do just that.
In as much as Maryam Sanda’s case has a lot of loopholes that causes justice to be questioned in her prosecution, she has been ruled upon and all these could have been avoided if rage was controlled.
Unfortunately, several cannot heed this advice because they are deeply vindictive and would not live happy should ‘the bastard’ remain breathing. Plus they can live with the guilt. Well, only one advice: Don’t do it in rage, you would get caught. If you resolve to kill, then kill like a smart murderer. Otherwise, we shall bid you farewell during your prosecution.
Oh another advice, or an extension of the first. Best smart move is to make it a self-defense. He beats you right? Wait for the right moment….and defend yourself. RIP we shall bid.